


In Memoriam

by TheBean170



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, Ghosts, seance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 08:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBean170/pseuds/TheBean170
Summary: Lapis Lazuli just wants one more chance to speak with her wife, after she was taken from her a year ago.But the solution one psychic offers may not be the one she was expecting.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	In Memoriam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheCopperDragonBard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCopperDragonBard/gifts), [Red_Fabric_Larceny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Fabric_Larceny/gifts).



Lapis Lazuli wasn't one to believe in the supernatural.

Ghosts, demons, spirits and all that stuff were just stories to her. She was a very grounded person. She believed in whatever her own two eyes saw and nothing else. She lost that sense of wonderment early on in her life.

Her wife, Peridot, was quite different.

Peridot was obsessed with everything that humans couldn't see naturally. She believed in the paranormal, extraterrestrial, and everything in between. Despite being a woman of science, she loved to watch online videos about ghosts, blogs about aliens, and books about finding them.

It didn't matter to Lapis, though. She thought her wife's antics were adorable when it came to trying to convince the bluenette that these things were real. She'd listen to her little tangents with a sort of comfortable peace inside her, and while she teased sometimes she never made fun of or insulted Peridot's views.

She loved Peridot, every single part of her and not one left out. And Peridot felt the same way.

They lived a fairly decent life. Money wasn't the most abundant, but they made do. Peridot worked at a hardware repair shop and Lapis at a fast food restaurant. The pay wasn't good, but their rent wasn't high. It struck a balance in a way.

They had a nice routine. Peridot got home first, then came Lapis. They'd either make something cheap or eat out somewhere cheap, and then they'd cuddle on their couch watching TV till they fell asleep.

They were used to it. It was nice, simple. Sometimes they'd mix it up on the weekends and go out to a movie. They couldn't give themselves fancy gifts or take themselves out to fancy restaurants, but they were content and more than happy with just spending time with each other.

They were used to it.

Peridot always got home first.

…

Maybe they should've seen it coming. They weren't in the safest of neighborhoods, and they couldn't afford much in the sense of security.

Lapis arrived home to see cop cars parked outside her home. An officer walked towards her.

"A breaking and entering gone wrong." He informed her. "The robber was armed."

It wasn't actually that uncommon of a story. Peridot walked in at the wrong time. The robber had a gun.

Peridot tried to play the hero...

And she paid because of it.

The officers were cold and disconnected. They were used to the crime in this part of the neighborhood. Lapis tended to be cold, too. Her childhood taught her a lot about loss and pain.

But when she heard what had happened to Peridot…

She felt like her heart shattered into pieces.

An ambulance arrived a few minutes later. The paramedics went inside with a stretcher. A few minutes later, the body came out covered in a white sheet. A bullet wound stained the covering red at the very top of her forehead

The police collected what little evidence they could get from the scene. There wasn't much: no fingerprints, only money taken. It was pretty clear the perp wasn't gonna be caught. The officers left soon after, only leaving condolences behind.

Lapis walked inside her home. _Her_ home, not theirs. There was no one left to share it anymore.

She went to her bedroom and sat on her bed. _Her_ bed, not theirs. There was no one else to share that with either.

She just sat there. Wide eyed, trembling. She felt cold, hollow and empty. She thought she should've been sobbing right then, but it felt like the motivation to do anything had left there.

So she sat, cold and alone.

Lapis wasn't one to believe in the supernatural…

Because she knew there was a lot worse than ghouls and demons in the real world.

~{•-•}~

Lapis went back to work the next day. Why wouldn't she? All the money she and Peridot saved were gone and she was the only one making money now. She had to eat.

She didn't even get a full day to mourn. In truth, maybe she didn't want one. That would make the situation seem real, tangible…

Irreversible.

Her boss and co-workers found out about what happened. News traveled fast in the community.

Her boss offered her a paid day off to mourn, maybe more if she felt she needed it. Lapis declined, saying she couldn't be alone with her thoughts as much anymore.

Her co-workers all offered to pitch in and pay for a funeral service, to put Peridot to rest. Lapis told them she might break if she had to see Peridot's body again.

She respectfully declined after that.

Lapis kept working. She had a new routine now. She came home. She made something cheap or didn't eat at all. She laid on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. The will to cry came back to her sometimes, so she'd silently cry on that couch when it did.

Sometimes, if she wanted to mix it up, she'd look at some of Peridot's old stuff.

She was lucky the criminal only took money. She didn't know what she would do if they had taken everything of Peridot's. She'd go into her bedroom (she never slept in there anymore) and pull out one of the blonde's sci fi books, looking through it to pass the time.

It was like reading a transcript of one of her old nerd rants, but not nearly as endearing or as exciting.

Still, it helped quell the dull pain in Lapis' heart, if only for a moment.

The bluenette tried to move on, tried to get into her new routine, tried to mature from the experience. She even went as far as to wash the blue dye from her hair, the blue dye that Peridot used to say 'helped complete the Lapis look.'

She was in her 30's. Maybe it was time to leave that behind.

She worked. She became less happy, more serious. She stopped crying as often.

She felt alone, but she couldn't help that. She grew used to the feeling.

She read some more of Peridot's old books, mainly because she didn't really watch TV all that often now.

Her life became somewhat normal. Never enjoyable or happy, because how could it, but it became normal.

But… her home never felt normal.

Ever since the night of the crime, Lapis started noticing strange happenings that never occurred before that night. Things she couldn't quite explain.

For example, parts of her house felt absolutely freezing. She tried pumping up the temperature but no matter what those parts would always feel cold.

It was coldest in the bedroom and living room.

She kept hearing strange noises in the night. She sometimes woke up from the couch to sounds of footsteps in the other rooms. She'd go to investigate, but find nothing there.

And then there was the movement. Lapis sometimes found things in places they weren't there before. Dishes that she swore were in cabinets were found set on the table. Papers were laid out on her bed that she never even touched.

The worst offenders were the books.

Lapis would go to grab one of Peridot's books only to find that the same set of books were on the floor, opened up to the same page always, without fail.

They were always the supernatural books, and it was always the same entry.

'Ghosts and hauntings.'

Lapis was never a forgetful person, never left things out and forgot that she had. The person who did that used to be Peridot. Lapis usually had a good memory when it came to that sort of thing.

So, this obviously wasn't her…

Right?

~{•●•}~

"D… Do you guys believe in ghosts?"

The question came out of nowhere. Lapis was at work, currently on break, and sitting next to her three closest friends: Bismuth (A buff girl with rainbow dreads), Pearl (A tall, thin woman with combed pinkish blonde hair), and Amethyst (a short, curvy woman with long flowing, lilac hair). They had been talking about some weird offhand topic, but Lapis wasn't listening. That question had been brewing in her recently, and she needed to get it out into the world.

Once they heard the question, they stopped their conversation.

"Uh… heh." Bismuth chuckled awkwardly, holding a drink in her hands. "Where's this coming from, Lap?"

"N-Nowhere, I'm just curious, you know? I've been reading some of… of Peridot's old books and they're just ridiculous when they talk about that kinda stuff." The brunette explained.

"Well, I certainly don't believe in the supernatural, but I'd like to think that perhaps there's at least some sort of energy out there." Pearl answered, putting down the fries she had in her hand.

"I'm kinda in the same boat as Pearl, here. I just haven't seen that much proof of ghosts to believe in them." Bismuth pitched in.

Lapis nodded in understanding before turning to look at the one person who hadn't answered, Amethyst.

Amethyst just took a bite of her burger while looking Lapis in the eyes.

"And?" The brunette asked.

"What? You already know my stance on that kinda stuff. My aunt's the best goddamn psychic in the world. I'm team ghost all the way." Amethyst answered before taking another bite of her burger.

"Oh yeah. Guess that must've slipped my mind."

The trio of friends looked at Lapis with concern as the girl picked at her food, barely eating any of it.

"How're you doin', Lap?" Bismuth asked.

"What? Oh, uh, I guess I'm doing okay. Just tired a lot more recently." Lapis responded.

"Oh. Well, that's good. Okay is good." Pearl said, trying to put on a proud smile.

Amethyst just kept staring at Lapis.

~{○●○}~

One year.

It had been one year since the night of the break in. One year since Peridot had died.

And Lapis was oddly okay.

By no means happy, and by no means content, but she was okay. The day felt heavier than most, but Lapis felt used to the weight at that point.

She was getting ready for work that morning. She had been thinking about calling off today to take some time for herself, but then she remembered that rent was coming up soon. And she needed a place to live.

She had her uniform, keys in her pocket. All she was waiting for was her cup of coffee to brew and she'd be on her way.

The coffee was just about done when she heard a loud crack.

Her head whipped around to try and find the source of the noise. It sounded slightly like glass breaking, but not like someone breaking a window. More like something fragile falling to the floor.

She walked away from the kitchen and towards the living room. She looked around for a moment to try and find the source, but there was nothing knocked over.

'It must be coming from the bedroom.' Lapis thought.

She walked over to the room in question and peered inside. Her eyes darted back and forth for a moment before…

Ah, there was the source. A small photo frame had seemingly fallen off the dresser and landed photo-side down.

"Oh, I hope it didn't break too badly." The brunette muttered as she walked over to the frame to pick it up.

She reached down and carefully picked it up, turning it over to see the damage.

…

Oh.

The photo was an old one, one that had been taken a long time ago.

It was Lapis and Peridot's wedding, which had been one of the happiest moments of both of their lives. The photo showed Peridot in a beautiful white wedding dress, practically flowing in the wind, while Lapis stood by her side in a dapper black tux. They were both standing in front of the altar with the biggest smiles on their faces.

However… the fall had cracked the glass, causing the cracks to grow all over the side of the photo where Peridot was, leaving the Lapis side unbroken.

Lapis looked at the photo and the frame with slight discontent. 'Damn… how'd this even break? You'd have to throw this thing down to the ground in order for it to crack like that.' She thought to herself.

That discontent grew into slight happiness and fondness as Lapis recalled the memories from that day in the photo. How happy the newlyweds were. How beautiful Peridot had looked that day. How many shenanigans that got up to after the wedding. The brunette starred chuckling as she remembered when she, Peridot, and the guests got into a big cake fight because, well that was just the kind of people she invited.

_It had been so long since Lapis felt this happy…_

The fondness slowly began to fade.

_That happiness may not come back for a while…_

The fondness turned to discontent.

_She may not feel it again for all she knew…_

The discontent finally turned to dread.

Lapis barely felt her knees hit the floor as she dropped to the ground. She was trying so hard not to cry in that moment but it was getting so hard.

Lapis had only thought about what she lost in the now. Her girlfriend, her money, and her sense of happiness. She never thought about what she lost in the future. How many happy moments she would never get to experience with her wife. How many times she could’ve seen her in the future but wouldn’t ever again. The wedding anniversaries she’d never get to celebrate, the wedding vows she’d never get to renew.

They were all gone thanks to one bullet.

She couldn’t stop the tears now. How could she? That was all she could do at that moment. She just cried, clutching the picture closer to her chest as she rested her head on the floor.

She never really got over the death, did she? She just shoved down her emotions, and ignored it in favor of moving forward. It’s how she dealt with the rest of her bad memories, so she expected it to work this time.

But… she had Peridot as support for those other memories.

Now she had no one.

And she cried harder and harder.

…

…

…

After hours of nothing but crying, Lapis heard a knock at her front door. She didn't move to open, after all she felt as if she could do nothing but cry at the moment.

There came a few more knocks, followed by muffled talking.

Then, the doorknob jiggled before the door swung open.

"Lapis? You here? You didn't come in to work, so I'm here to see what's up." Came a voice, Amethyst's voice.

Footsteps rang out as Amethyst got closer to the bedroom. Lapis looked up from the floor briefly to see her friend in the doorway, face stained with a mix of pity and guilt. She buried it back in her knees.

"Oh, Lapis…" The lilac haired girl said, kneeling down next to the brunette.

"I-I can't s-s-stop! It hurts so m-much!" Lapis cried out in between sobs.

"Lap, it's okay. It's okay to cry. You've been through something horrible, it's okay to feel hurt." Amethyst said, rubbing the other girl's back soothingly.

Lapis finally moved her head slightly to look Amethyst in the face.

"I can't afford to h-hurt. I have to keep m-moving forward or I'll lose e-e-everything else." The cries started calming down slightly before a new thought punched Lapis in the gut. "O-Oh god, I never even got t-to say goodbye!"

And she was back again to a mess of tears, Amethyst trying to calm her.

At least… She was. After a few more minutes of crying, the lilac haired girl removed her hand from Lapis' back and got to her feet. The brunette's face was still facing the floor, so she couldn't really see what Amethyst was doing, but she assumed she was leaving.

But she wasn't. A few minutes later, Amethyst started talking again, but not to Lapis.

'Is she calling somebody?' Lapis thought.

"Yeah. No auntie, I'm fine… Listen, I need a favor… Yeah, my friend, she needs a session…" Amethyst said, pausing every so often to presumably let the other person talk."Her wife, she… Yeah, that's her. Can you come? Six? Yeah… Yeah, six works… Okay, We'll get everything set up... Okay, thanks a million, Auntie."

The footsteps came closer and she felt Amethyst’s presence as the other girl knelt down by Lapis.

“Okay, Lap. I got somebody coming over that I think could bring you some closure but we need to get some things set up before she gets here, okay?” She explained.

Lapis let out a sniffle as she lifted her head to face Amethyst. “C-Closure?” She stuttered.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping. But for right now, I want you to go and take a shower, help yourself relax. Then, get changed into some nicer clothing, anything you can find. The important thing is that you look presentable."

The brunette slowly stood up, letting Amethyst help her. "O-Okay…" She stuttered out, rubbing away some of the tears from her eyes. She slowly made her way towards the bathroom, trudging her feet across the floor.

Once Lapis was out of earshot, and the noise of water falling from the showerhead started, Amethyst let out a quiet plea.

"God, please let this work out…"

~{0○0}~

Lapis had gotten out of the shower a few minutes later, taking some time to try and calm herself down. It didn't work as well as she thought it would, but at least the tears had stopped.

She got herself dressed up in a blue flannel, white t-shirt, her one pair of non-ripped jeans and some red shoes. The nicest outfit she had on hand.

She walked out of her room into the living room, only to see something strange.

Amethyst had moved the small couch to the side, and had brought the round dinner table from the kitchenette into the center of the room.

The two chairs Lapis owned were placed at opposite ends of the table, and candles that the brunette had forgotten about were placed around the table in a circle.

"Amethyst… what is all this?" Lapis asked with slight suspicion and confusion.

Amethyst set down the last candle and moved towards the other girl. "This is… set up. Feel better now that you've had that shower?" She asked.

"A bit, I guess. Ames, who's coming over?"

Amethyst was about to open her mouth to answer when a knock came at the door.

"That's her." The lilac haired girl said, quickly rushing over and opening the door.

Lapis saw from afar exactly who was at the door, and she recognized her almost instantly.

"Hi, Auntie Rose." Amethyst greated.

Standing in the doorway was a tall woman, dressed in a dark pink dress with rose patterns decorating it. The woman herself had curly pink hair, seemingly flowing around her head.

It was Amethyst's aunt. Lapis knew that. The other girl had shown pictures of the family member countless times and bragged about her status as a 'true to hear psychic.' She was the kind of person Lapis grew to distrust after all the times she heard about other psychic scamming and swindling innocent people who trusted in the occult.

And now she was entering her house.

'Is this some kind of a… sick joke?'

"Thank you Amethyst." Aunt Rose said, stepping inside. "Is everything set up? I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Yeah, everything's ready." Amethyst confirmed, turning and gesturing towards Lapis. "Auntie, this is Lapis. Lapis, this is my Aunt R-"

"I know who she is. Amethyst, can I talk to you for a second? _In private_?" Lapis said, pulling Amethyst away from her family member.

The two girls made their way to the bedroom in the back of the house, away from prying ears.

"Amethyst, what the fuck is wrong with you?! A psychic?! If this is some kind of joke, you're two seconds away from getting punched through the teeth." Lapis growled, anger mixing in with sadness to make bitter rage.

Amethyst waved her hands rapidly. "Nonono, this isn't a joke, I promise! I… I think this could really help you get some closure." She quickly explained, trying to calm the brunette down.

"You know how I feel about this sort of thing, and yet you thought it was a good idea to bring her here?! When I'm this vulnerable?!"

"Lapis, when have I ever purposely betrayed your trust?"

That made her stop arguing. At least for a moment.

Amethyst really was trustworthy to her friends. Sure, she teased and poked fun at Lapis every once in a while, but she had never done anything to break her trust, purposely or by accident. She liked to joke around, but she never lied or schemed against Lapis.

"Y… You haven't." Lapis responded to her question.

"Exactly. You trust me right?"

"Y-Yeah."

"And I trust Rose. So _you_ can trust Rose. Lapis, I would never do anything to purposely hurt you. You know that. Just… Just try it, please? My aunt is the best in the business, you gotta believe me."

Lapis looked at Amethyst, thoughts swirling in her head. On one hand, she never bought into the psychic stuff. Period. End of story. But, on the other, Amethyst had a point. She trusted her friend, so why would this time be any different?

"O… Okay. I'll try it. But this is the first and last time." She finally said, relaxing slightly.

The lilac haired girl let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Now c'mon, Aunt Rose is a busy person and we shouldn't keep her waiting."

The two walked back out to the living room, where Rose stood beside the table in the center of it. All the candles on the table had been lit, so Lapis assumed the other woman had done it while she and Amethyst were talking.

"I know I may seem untrustworthy due to my occupation, Ms. Lazuli. But trust me when I say this, I'm here to try and help you." The psychic said, walking towards her.

"Yeah, look. I trust you because Amethyst trusts you. So for right now, I'll listen to what you have to say. For. Now." Lapis said, still suspicious of the whole ordeal.

"I understand completely. From what I understand, your wife Peridot is no longer with us?"

Sadness and heartbreak briefly flowed through Lapis' core, but the brunette resigned herself not to cry again. "Y-Yeah. Today's the anniversary of her death."

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

The air grew cold around the brunette. Only her.

"Thank you." _'At least she's courteous.'_

Rose turned to Amethyst. "Thank you for calling me, dear. I can see what I need to do. Unfortunately, you know that you have to leave for this next part." She told the girl.

"Yeah, I know." Amethyst turned to Lapis. "I'll be nearby. If you need anything after you two are done, send me a text and I'll swing by."

Lapis nodded and thanked Amethyst for coming, then watched as she left through the front door.

"Now dear, we don't have a lot of space to dilly dally, so I think it would be wise to begin." Rose said, taking a seat in one of the table chairs.

"Sure. Let's get this over with." Lapis took the other empty seat.

Rose placed her hands in front of her on the table, looking at Lapis with a slight understanding in her eyes.

"So now what? You ask me a bunch of random questions and make half hearted predictions to 'read my mind?'" Lapis said sarcastically.

"My dear, I understand you don't believe, but I'm not here to trick or deceive you. I'm not here for money or family secrets, I do all of this for free. I'm here to try and help. Now, before we start, do you have any requests of me?"

Lapis was still in disbelief of the psychic. "No, let's get this over with."

Rose nodded, closed her eyes and extended her hands out in front of her, opening and facing them palms up.

"Place your hands into mine."

Lapis huffed and begrudgingly placed her hands in Rose's. The other woman grabbed her hands gently.

"I can see your wife is with us tonight."

Lapis rolled her eyes, that bitter rage returning to her heart.

_'This is such bullshit, I swear to god I'm so close to just calling all this o-'_

"Her presence is stronger than others I've met. She must've loved you very much. She's standing in front of you, if you want to acquaint yourself with her location."

"She's standing on the table?"

"She knows what's about to happen."

Rose opened her eyes again and addressed Lapis.

"Before we continue, I must warn you. What you're about to experience is jarring, even for the most devout believer. You may feel some sort of terror in your heart, but do not be afraid. You know this person. She loves you, and you love her" The psychic explained.

"Alright." Lapis deadpanned.

"Also, we won't have a lot of time once I start the ritual, so please talk with purpose."

"What are you about to do, even?"

"My dear… We're holding a seance."

With that, Rose closed her eyes.

 ** _"Spiritibus ego ad te nocte vocant iterumque ad tarda reuerti duo amantes, separata per violentiam."_** She spoke, her voice taking on a strange tone.

Lapis looked at the other woman with confusion. _'Okay… I've never heard of a psychic speaking fluent Latin, I'll give her that.'_

Suddenly, a violent chill ran up the brunette's spine, making her shiver. _'What the hell? Why is it so cold in here?'_

 ** _"Amicus meus, Lapis, voluerit loqui in ea uxor Peridot."_** Rose spoke again, her grip on the other's hands growing tighter.

Suddenly, the lights went out, and the candles seemed to glow with greater intensity than before.

"W-What the hell…" Lapis muttered, watching as the room around her went pitch dark, save for the candles around her. She looked towards her window to try and see the evening light again…

But watched in terror as she saw nothing but darkness behind the glass.

 ** _"Spiritibus decernas, peto, mi amice auxilium eius invenire caritate amissa. Contributuros cum suo praeteriti, spes autem futuri illam producat."_** The psychic spoke again, the table shaking as she uttered the words.

"R-Rose, I don't like this." Lapis pleaded.

Suddenly, a gust of wind coming from both everywhere and nowhere swept through the room, swirling around the table. The candles glowed even brighter, the light seemingly swirling with the wind.

No, it WAS swirling with the wind. The light itself built on top of itself, turning into a large column of energy.

Try as she might, as much as her brain and heart told her to flee, Lapis couldn't look away from the light column forming on the table.

 ** _"Spiritibus! Exaudi preces meas! Si non in momento, in Peridot producat terra animam!"_** Rose shouted, her voice booming with a power Lapis had never heard before from anyone.

Suddenly, the light burst in front of the two, becoming so bright Lapis had to tear her hands away from Rose's to shield her eyes.

Then, it was silent.

Lapis couldn't hear anything. Not her house, not Rose, not even her own breath. Her eyes still remained shut, covered by her hands.

It was silent.

And then, it spoke.

"Lapis?" A soft voice came, one the brunette almost recognized.

The girl slowly removed her hands from her eyes, yet still not brave enough to open them.

"L-Lapis? Are you okay?" The voice said again.

 _'W-Who is that? I feel like I know her but… that can’t be possible._ ’

Lapis carefully opened her eyes, and gasped.

Standing before her on the table was a short woman, light surrounding her as she looked down at her. She was dressed in a beautiful white wedding dress, one seemingly blowing constantly in the wind. She was barefoot, yet her feet were wrapped in bandages. Her face was still covered by what seemed like light, but Lapis could make out wild blonde hair and pale skin.

Wait…

This woman, she…

She was transparent.

Lapis could see right through her, see the table at the other end where Rose was now missing from the room. You could… You could see through her!

This person wasn't even touching the table, she was floating above it!

Lapis let out a scream as she pushed away from the stranger, knocking her chair over as she took a few steps back.

"W-W-What the hell are you?!" The brunette shouted, her entire body shaking.

"Lapis, why are you shouting?" The voice asked, confused and hurt.

_'Wait, that voice isn't coming from anywhere… It's in my head!! It's inside my fucking head!!!'_

Lapis clutched the sides of her head, shaking it to try and rid herself of this mental noise.

"Lapis, please stop screaming. It's me!"

The figure took two steps forward, floating down from the table before touching down on the floor.

Lapis screamed again as she fell backwards, pushing herself away from the… thing until her back hit the wall.

"S-Stay away!" She shouted, covering her head protectively.

"L-Lapis, please… Please don't be scared, I just want to talk!"

"Stop speaking! Get out of my head"

She curled in on herself, bringing her knees to her chest and burying her head in them. She squeezed her eyes shut as tight as possible, palms pressed flat against them as extra precautions, but that voice still dug it's way into her mind.

The thing kept talking, kept speaking in that odd, calm yet distant voice.

"L-Lapis… please. It's me." It said.

"Go. Away. P-Please." Lapis begged. The tears were starting to form now, leaking down her cheek every so often.

"Lapis…"

And, in a flash, the room was completely silent. The voice left her head and became external, real.

"Don't you recognize me?"

Lapis' eyes popped open.

"W-What?"

"Lapis…" The voice said, sounding much softer, more calming. "Please look at me. Please?"

Lapis didn't want to look yet. She recognized that voice now that her own state of mind wasn’t distorting it, but it wasn't possible for it to speak again.

She didn't want to see what that voice belonged to.

"Don't be scared Lapis, please. We don't have a lot of time, I'm begging you!"

Lapis peaked briefly through the space in between her fingers.

Her body shook violently and her eyes went wide as she finally saw who was speaking to her this entire time.

It was her wife.

Peridot.

The light around her face had finally cleared, revealing the stunning beauty of her now deceased spouse. Her skin still shimmering, her eyes vibrant with green, and the adorable glasses that completed her look still hung on her face. But now, there was a new detail.

For on her head, right in the middle of her forehead, was a small glowing X.

Peridot's face held a mixture of pity and sadness, her brows turning upwards as she looked down on the curled up Lapis.

"N-N-No, this can't be happening." The brunette muttered.

“Lapis, come here.” Peridot said, holding out her hands to gesture Lapis into taking them.

At first, Lapis was hesitant. Her hands still shook like an earthquake had made a home in her body, but she slowly let one of them approach Peridot’s hands. She touched the palm with her finger and quickly withdrew her hand, like a scared and wounded animal. When no danger presented itself in that moment, Lapis reached forward again and slowly placed her hand in the glowing blonde’s palm.

Peridot gave a gentle grasp on the hand and gestured with her empty one, a tiny, saddened smile appearing on her face. Lapis complied and placed her other hand in her palm. She was then carefully pulled to her feet, her body still feeling stiff as she stood in front of the…

Well, to put it bluntly, the ghost of her wife.

“This isn’t possible.” Lapis muttered, her eyes still leaking tears.

Peridot let out a chuckle. “Still doubting the supernatural? D-Does this mean I get to say I told you so?”

Suddenly, the ghost hit by a rapid weight as Lapis wrapped her arms around her and hugged her as tight as she could. “T-This isn’t possible…” The brunette sobbed as she buried her face into Peridot’s neck. The blonde returned the hug with almost equal fervor.

Eventually, Lapis pulled back to look at her wife. “Y-You look so beautiful. God, I- Peridot, I should’ve been there t-to protect you. I-I’m so so-”

“No no, don’t blame yourself, Lapis. There wasn’t anything you could’ve done. I’m just glad nothing happened to you too.” Peridot said, quickly stopping Lapis’ thoughts from going down a darker path.

They stayed silent for a brief moment before Peridot spoke up.

“You… You washed out the hair dye, I see.” She said, looking up at the other.

Lapis briefly pulled her arm away to touch her hair before returning it back to the ghost’s body. "Y-Yeah, I did. Oh god, there's so much stuff you missed, I have so m-much to tell you."

"I know, sweetie, I know. You don’t need to explain" Peridot started to say, taking a deep breath. "I'm here right now, jus-"

She stopped talking as her eyes went wide. A look of fear appeared on her face.

"Oh no."

"W-What? What's wrong?" Lapis asked.

"We… We're out of time." Peridot muttered.

Suddenly, the ground beneath the two started to shake, and Peridot began floating above the ground. Starting from her feet and going to her head, she began to glow harder than before.

"P-Peridot?! What's going on?!" Lapis exclaimed, still holding on to her spouse's hands.

"We're out of time. Lapis, listen. I love you, more than anything in the world. I'm still here, I always will be, I've never left your side." Peridot said with a speed that Lapis almost didn't hear her words.

The ghost floated higher and higher into the air, glowing so bright now Lapis had to squint her eyes.

"Peridot!" She shouted, still trying to hold onto her.

"I'm sorry, Lapis! I'm so sorry. I love you so much." Peridot said.

Suddenly, Lapis' hands phased through Peridot's, as if the ghost was merely mist in her clutches. The brunette tried to grab for her hands again, but they kept phasing through.

"No, Peridot! Come back!" Lapis shouted, terrified beyond belief at what would happen next.

"I love you, Lapis! I lo-"

And suddenly, a bright flash appeared around Peridot, forcing Lapis to shut and cover her eyes.

It was silent.

Lapis opened her eyes.

The room had been returned to its previous state. The lights had all turned back on, the outside world was awash in the colors of the setting sun, and Rose had returned to her seat, now sporting a calm expression.

But none of that mattered to Lapis.

Because Peridot was gone.

Her head whipped around as she desperately tried to look for any trace of the ghost or where she had gone. Rose had gotten up from her chair and walked over while Lapis was distracted.

"I know that was quite jarring, but I hope you are content with you conversation wit-"

"Where is she?! Where did she go?!" Lapis said, interrupting Rose.

"Where did… Oh, Ms. Peridot. Ah, see she has returned to a less material form. The ritual has concluded." The psychic calmly explained.

"No, it didn't. I barely got to talk with her." The brunette said while still looking around the room.

"Barely? What do you mean?"

"I mean I didn't even get a minute to talk to my wife, what else?! Where did she leave to, I've got to find her?"

"My dear… T-The ritual has ended. You… You ran out of time."

Lapis finally focused on Rose again, her cerulean eyes welling up with tears she didn’t think she still had.

"N-No I didn't, because I didn't even get more than a few stutters to talk to her!" She shouted, her hands clawing roughly at the floor.

"Ms. Lazuli, I… The ritual only has a set time of fifteen minutes. It can only give the dead a physical form for that set time, no longer." The psychic explained, a feeling of panic starting to ebb into her mind. "Did… you not talk to her when she appeared?"

"Wh… No, I d-didn't. I was too scared, and I wasn't thinking. B-But if that's the case, then it doesn't matter!"

Lapis quickly got up from the floor and sprinted over to the dining room table, setting up and sitting in the chair she had been in before.

"W-We'll just do the ritual again! It's fine, I know better now. I'll talk to her this time." She said, holding out her hands like she had been when this whole ordeal first began taking shape.

"Ms. Lazuli… I cannot do that." Rose murmured, unable to meet her eyes.

"W… Why not? Wait, is it the money? I know the first one was free, but I can pay for a second if I need to!" The brunette quickly pulled out her wallet and began dumping money out onto the table. Dollar bills, coins, even debit and credit cards, they all spilled out onto the table, where she pushed them towards the empty seat across from her.

"Take it. All of it, I don't care. Just one more session. Please." Lapis begged, holding her hands out again.

Rose's hand grazed over the pile of money before slowly pushing it back towards the brunette. "This isn't about money, Ms. Lazuli. If I could, I would do it for free again."

Lapis looked at Rose with shock, still not understanding the situation. "T-Then, why don't you start? What's stopping you?"

"Ms. Lazuli, th… the ritual can only be attempted after a set amount of time has passed. It has a sort of… of 'cool down' before it works again." The psychic explained.

"... So we'll just wait till it's ready again. Simple as that."

"You don't understand, Ms. Lazuli…"

A sigh. Lapis felt unending dread of the next sentence.

"That ritual can only be attempted once per spirit every one hundred years."

Lapis felt the cold grasp of heartbreak rewrap it's class around her heart. "W-What?" She stuttered out, getting up from her chair again.

"The amount of energy needed to materialize a ghost is tremendous. It takes a long amount of time for that energy to recharge. I… I'm sorry. I am bound by my own limits."

Lapis couldn't believe what she was hearing. After all this time, all the pain she went through, she finally had a chance to speak to her side again… and she ruined it.

She stumbled backwards, falling back into her seat.

It was her fault this time. Not Rose's, not Amethyst's, not even some goddamn random Robber's fault. She wasted the time. She didn't listen to her wife.

She lost her again.

She felt the tears streak down her face. Sobs escaped from her mouth as she leaned forward, placing her hands over her face as she sobbed into them. She couldn't bear the pain growing in her heart, but there was no stopping it. It was as undeniable as the truth of the situation.

She sat there crying, until someone tapped her shoulder. She looked to her right to see Rose giving her a look that said she knew exactly what she was feeling in that moment. The psychic pulled the other chair in front of the grieving widow and sat down in it.

“My dear, I hope you don’t take this as a moment of failure. This… seance hasn’t accomplished anything you yourself couldn’t have done yourself. You haven’t ruined anything.” She spoke softly, waiting patiently to see if she should continue.

Lapis rubbed her eyes angrily before moving to glare at the older woman. “Are you stupid? I’m not special or supernatural, I can’t raise the fucking dead! I’ll never get a chance to talk to her ever again after this, I ruined everything!” She shouted, not really directed at her friend’s aunt but rather to the air.

“Raising the dead? Ms. Lazuli, what exactly do you think happened when I took your hands?”

“You… I don’t know, brought her back from the other side? I’m not the psychic here.”

“Ms. Lazuli, I can’t bring someone back from the dead. No one can, not even those most connected to the great beyond.”

“Then… Then what did you just do? Did you… Did you trick me? Did. you. trick _. Me?!”_ Lapis shouted and stood up from the chair.

“Lapis, all I did was open your eyes. I did not bring anyone here or back or away. All I did was allow you to see something that was already there, see some _body_ that was already there.”

Lapis took pause, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. She looked between the table that had been the stage for the past event and the psychic who organized it like a grand performance.

“Bu…. But the cone of light. S-She was floating away, I saw it.” She rationalized, her anger still present but now being suffocated by confusion.

“Lapis, perhaps it is my fault I did not explain my motives clearly. I did not come here to bring you a few moments with your loved ones. I came here to remind you that she never left your side. She has been here with you all along, staying close by and trying to show she cares in the very few ways she could. Even now, I can still see her, hovering close by and desperately wanting to comfort you. This moment was to remind you that you didn’t lose anybody. Peridot might not be here physically, but deep in your soul you can find her. In spirit, she will always be here.”  
  


“Always? Is she… here, right now?” Lapis asked hesitantly.

“She’s right behind you. Hesitant to help, but there to support you nonetheless.” Rose answered, a gentle smile overtaking her face as she wrapped her arms around the brunette to pull her into a comforting hug.

Lapis looked over her shoulder, checking the living room for any physical sign of her wife. She saw nothing, but as soon as a sliver of doubt entered her mind she felt a chill run up her spine as a cold feeling enveloped her hand, as if someone from the beyond was holding it.

“She’s still here… She never left…” Lapis muttered as she turned back into that gentle embrace.

“Of course not. She still loves you, Lapis. She says she tries to tell you, everyday.”

For some reason, Lapis chuckled dryly. “Of course she would. She was the sappiest of us.”

And with that, Lapis went silent as she let herself be comforted by this gentle psychic, somehow enjoying the freezing feeling that enveloped her hand. Because, she knew, there was loving warmth behind that icy grip.

After a few more moments of silence, Rose finally let Lapis go. She wiped her eyes from any remaining tears and took a deep breath.

“So that’s what this was. Just a way to open my eyes.” She said.

Rose nodded. “You’re allowed to move on, Lapis. You don’t have to feel alone in all of this. You have so many friends, so many people that still care about you. And, beyond all that, you can take solace knowing that Peridot will always be with you. Even if you can’t see her, even if you can’t feel her presence, that feeling in your soul will always be there.”

“Wow, I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Rose. For all of this. I really needed that. I really needed to know that.”

Rose smiled before gathering herself up and nodded in understanding. “She’ll always be there for you, you can be sad and you can be happy. She’d love you all the same for it.’’

Lapis gave one last hug and whispered a thank you before Rose left the house, closing the door gently around her. She wrapped her arms around herself as she stood in the middle of the living room, the candles now all blown out by gusts of air.

Her pocket vibrated and made her reach for her phone. Cold grips drew over her shoulders, as if someone were peeking over them down at the device.

**_ Ames: Did everything work out? _ **

** _Lap: In a sense. Tell your Aunt thank you again. I’ll never be able to repay her._ **

** _Ames: Take tomorrow off, man. I’ll cover your shift_ **

** _Lap: I_ **

** _Lap: I think I will._ **

** _Lap: Thank you Ames. I really needed this._ **

Lapis breathed a sigh of relief as she tucked her phone back into her pocket. She looked around the living room, knowing she would eventually have to clean this up, but feeling so emotionally drained she only wanted to rest now. She kicked her shoes off and sluggishly made her way to the couch, but stopped just short of collapsing on it. It felt as if someone else was leading her somewhere. She followed this strange push and eventually led herself to the bed she hadn’t slept in for a year now.

She removed the flannel from her shoulder and laid down on the mattress, cringing as the springs creaked from months without usage. She pulled the covers over her shoulders as she slowly closed her eyes and let sleep drag her away.

Yet, before she could fully succumb to slumber, an unknown weight occupied the bed, and what felt like a freezing kiss was pressed to her cheek.

Lapis smiled. “I love you too, Peri.”

And for the first time in a year, Lapis fell asleep in _their_ bed.

~{○-○}~

You won’t believe how much Lapis changed when she woke up from that bed the next morning.

For once in her life, she didn’t feel alone. It was like she had taken a breath of fresh air. The air wasn’t freezing anymore, it was crisp and fresh.

Of course, it wasn’t immediate. After living so long with a dull pain in her heart, she couldn’t just move on from her period of “morning” so easily. It started small, like worrying more about her own well being. She ate healthier, did more exercise. Sometimes, there were flashes of sadness that beckoned her back to her depressive lifestyle, but not only the presence of her wife but also the memories she made with her would help alleviate the pain until she could calm herself.

She slowly worked to improve more aspects of her life. She hung out with her friends more often, outside of work to specify. She became more outgoing and a tiny bit more happy. She even dyed a streak of hair, not out of style but out of remembrance.

A month passed, and then two more, and half the year had gone by. Time kept on passing and Lapis felt herself improving. Not perfect, mind you. She didn’t think she would ever be the same after all she’s gone through. But, she could be better than she already was. And every time she laid down in her bed, and looked at her repaired wedding photo, she no longer felt painful longing but peaceful recalling.

It helped that, every night, she would feel a chilled kiss pressed to her lips before she slept.

She pursued better job opportunities, eventually getting a stable job with better pay away from the restaurant industry, although she didn’t grow away from her friends. And yet, despite the pay increase, she didn’t move out of the neighborhood, she wasn’t going to give up like that. She used the pain she had felt that first year after the death, and focused it into a new goal. With more time free, she used it to try and improve what little she could. The streets started to clean up, the people became friendlier. Lapis became such an active member in her community, people wondered how she found the drive to do so many things, how she managed to overcome such a tragedy and recover from it.

But she didn’t recover from it. It would always be a part of her, but she didn’t let it have to pull her into a darker place. She would always have her wife, both in spirit and in memory.

She was allowed to be happy.

She was happy. Okay and happy. She knew her wife was proud of her.

~(-_-)~

_50 years later…_

Her eyes jolted awake in the middle of the night.

Lapis sat up, instinctively reaching for her glasses by her nightstand. In her old age, her vision needed help from the wonders of modern ophthalmology. Yet, when she reached for those spectacles, she couldn’t quite grasp them.

She looked to her right to see what had happened, and gasped.

Her arm glowed brightly in the night, wisps of light fluttering off of it. Even stranger, her usual night apparel was gone, replaced with a tuxedo suit that seemed so familiar.

She leapt up from her bed, surprised with how agile her body felt. She was eighty seven years old, not a twenty year old in her prime. She looked down at her body, noticing that she was wearing a full suit from head to ankle. Her feet, however, were bare, with bandages wrapped around the soles and top.

“What on earth…” Lapis exclaimed, voice hitching as her pitch came out way younger than she remembered.

She turned around to her bed to see what had happened, and stumbled backwards in surprise.

Laying on the bed, in the same position she had fallen asleep in, was her body. Wrinkled and hairs graying, it lay stiff and unmoving with no breath escaping from its lungs. Lapis placed a hand on its forehead (which was seemingly the only thing she could interact with thus far), and felt cold, lifeless skin touch back.

Lapis realized what this meant.

She moved away from the corpse and turned around from the bed, facing instead a dresser mirror. She caught a full glimpse of herself now, her skin back to its youthful luster and her hair now vibrant blue. It was if she was plucked straight from her wedding photo, on the happiest day of her life, and tweaked up for her afterlife. Her entire body glowed like candlelight, and underneath her clothing Lapis felt, as if it had always been a part of her, a symbol.

An x, drawn over her heart.

Lapis stumbled away from the dresser, combing a hand through her hair in shock. She was dead, her body felt giddy with energy, and yet she felt as if it wasn't enough, as if half of her was still missing.

And then, she heard singing.

Faint and distant, Lapis struggled to hear it. But once she did, she realized what was missing.

She raced out of her room through her open door, jumping over her furniture and screaming when she floated briefly before falling down. The singing was louder now, clearer, and she dove towards the door. Her hands were expecting to make contact with the knob, but instead phasing right through the door and falling out on the entrance pavement.

Quickly picking herself up, she gazed around at the darkened neighborhood street, desperately searching for the source of that singing.

And it was right there on her front lawn.

A woman, dressed in a beautiful bridal gown, stood up from where she was seated and turned to face the bluenette.

A smile drew across her face, and tears formed in the corner of her eyes. "Lapis… You're really here." Peridot muttered.

"H-Hey…" was all she could say, before Lapis tackled her wife in a deep hug with a bittersweet kiss. Peridot quickly returned the gesture, both of them breaking down into tears and soft gestures of affection.

"I missed this so much, Lapis. It's indescribable." Peridot said, burying her head in her partner's neck.

"Bet… Bet you're glad I ended up looking like this rather than that old pile of bones I was for the past few years." Lapis responded, jokingly.

"Lapis… old or young, you were always breathtaking to me." Her wife felt so warm now, like sunshine in a bottle.

Lapis fought the urge to cry harder, but her incorporeal form had other plans, and released a new torrent of tears and happy feelings. She clutched tightly to her wife's wedding dress, overjoyed she could actually feel such a thing.

"We have so much to talk about, so much I've wanted to say to you, face to face."

"We have all the time in the world for that, Lazuli. But for now… maybe a dance will do better.

"A dance? You dork, that's so cliche…"

"Clod, let me be romantic with you…"

And yet, they swayed slowly in the night, in a graceful ballet that they hadn't done since that faithful day of union.

-[R.I.P]-

Lapis Lazuli died peacefully in her sleep. She was buried alongside her wife, never separated, even in death.

...

Some say, you can see their ghosts dancing nearby, the two lovers' souls finally reunited in the candlelight heavens.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the very first idea I had in the Lapidot Cafe, and in celebration of Steven Universe finally coming to a close, I finished it. Big shout out to everyone who has ever listened to me hark on about my strange ideas, especially TheCopperDragonBard and Secret_Sauce_Recipe (Or Sauce as I know them). Thank you so much for all your support...
> 
> ... But, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon!


End file.
